I enjoy laughing. Who doesn't? SO I wanted to share some of the 'funnies' I've heard from friends...or random people..that gave me a laugh at one time or another...hopefully you didn't have to be there.. ;)
Tina: I just saw your ugly look-alike today.
Jess: Court! Erin's having a dance party..come out here!
Courtney: Cant..Im pulling pork.
Jess & Erin: ........
Me: so what are you guys doing today?
Mina (without pause): Idk, i was thinking about calling a politician..to get chicken coops in this district. I want chickens.
Courtney (to her dog, licking himself) Bentley, do you want a treat?..do you want a *good* treat, not your Butthole?
Katie: (Hungover outside espresso royale) I wanna go home and make blueberry muffins-
Sarah Beth: (sad-ish) I thought we were gonna watch shark week?!
Courtney: (text) A crackhead on the corner of College and Clayon just sang Feliz Navidad to me! THIS is why I love Athens :)
Tina:Feet are weird. Especially feet that are all over the place. I mean, some people's feet look like they're throwin' gang signs.
Me: Ahh, someone hasn't checked her facebook yet today
Tina: Haha, yeah..I don't check it often anymore because I'm too busy eating.
Tina: Forget forehead, this girl's got twohead. Like, when it rains, she can't feel the water on her head.
Tina: Gyms are for fatties, not hotties.
Me; Ugh. I have to go the the urologist today.
Tina: Ooooh, sexy!
Michelle: You looked like one of those girls that did girls.
Erin: Yeah...that's called a lesbian.
Randall: You make me wish I was a lesbian.
Sandy: I just had a fight with a ladybug. I won! I flushed it down the toilet!
Jen: I think I'm going to hurt some feelings this weekend.
Maria: Just remember, sharks are like dogs- they only bite when you try to touch their private parts.
Me: GOD I have to pee SO bad.
Celina: Ugh. I hate peeing. Its such a waste of my time.
Krystal (sniffing a particular scent of lotion at B&B Works) This smells like..dirty baby hands
Me: What are we looking for?
Liz: My lil bag of money. I have like, $800 in it.
Cristiana: Just..I'll find it later. I'm Asian. It's my thing.
Erin: How old *is* he?
Candice: Enough.
Candice: You're never gonna have a Korean sister.
Tara: You're like my very own hot court jester.
Me: I don't like that my sweater's loose because....my lips taste like jelly beans right now.
Krystal: Ok, WHAT? Thats the reason?
Me: Oh, no, my ADD just kicked me in the ass. Two separate thoughts, sorry.
Me: *fanning myself* Jesus, is anyone else hotter than hell right now?
David: *nodds* GIRL, Im like, menopausal hot!
(standing in the kitchen, laughing our asses off)
Jess: Erin, they're gonna ask us what we're laughin at and we're not gonna know!"
Sharon & Dana: (walking in) What are ya'll laughing at?
Jess & Erin: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Courtney: Dude, I love my life. sittin here with my friends...watchin Grey's... while a girl in her underwear is cooking me french toast!
You're so lucky to be a lesbian. I'm so sick of guys right now. - Anonymous
Katie: *hugging her pup Lou* If Lou, if you were any cuter, I'd murder you.
Ash: Man, I hate those new Hot Pocket commercials...talkin 'bout how hot pockets are mobile now. *pauses* Uhhh, what? I've BEEN walkin around with MY hot pocket for years. I mean, who's gonna sit down and eat it at a table with a fork n a knife?
Me: *walks into the office to get Jen, who's talking to Sandy* Hey, can I get you to notarize that document?
Jen: *turns around* Oh sorry, we were just laughing about funerals.
Me: ....................
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