*sings...LOUDLY* I just can't get enough...I just can't get enough...and I just can't seem to get enough of...
Purses and shoes and accessories, oh my! Where do I start? It's a ridiculous new obsession- a 'love triangle' if you will...and I don't know which way to turn. It's never been this bad before. Ever. It used to be like pulling teeth to get me to go shopping..and I HAD the money! And now that I don't? *whispers* It's all that I think about!
Anywhere I go, I see purses...fabulous purses- of all sizes and shapes and colors...and I think, Oooh, I MUST have that bag! Not to mention my recent incredibly absurd shoe fetish...I'm definitely my mother's daughter in that respect! *looks around before quietly admitting...* Mom, I'm going to have to apologize, although unspoken, but by action, but it WAS you who 'taught' me that some of the finer things in life are...*continues to whisper* in your closet. But you were right, mom! You were oh so right!
And now I'm doomed. Yes, DOOMED. Why? Well, aside from the fact that every time my wallet starts burning a hole in my purse- uh, pocket- I find myself feeling a lil...incomplete, if you will, when it takes every force of nature in my body to walk by that gorgeous set of bangles or those earings that are now 50% off...and my conscience tells me I need gas $ instead. But my inner shopping diva tells me 'but how good would I look standing at the pump with those new bad boys around my wrist or on my ears/feet?"
*sighs* *heavily*
I've found a new motto for myself..."even if I had money, I wouldn't have it." It's so true though. Feeling cute/pretty/sexy is important to me..and who doesn't like to be complimented on their good taste? ;)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Laughter: The Soul's Best Medicine
I enjoy laughing. Who doesn't? SO I wanted to share some of the 'funnies' I've heard from friends...or random people..that gave me a laugh at one time or another...hopefully you didn't have to be there.. ;)
Tina: I just saw your ugly look-alike today.
Jess: Court! Erin's having a dance party..come out here!
Courtney: Cant..Im pulling pork.
Jess & Erin: ........
Me: so what are you guys doing today?
Mina (without pause): Idk, i was thinking about calling a politician..to get chicken coops in this district. I want chickens.
Courtney (to her dog, licking himself) Bentley, do you want a treat?..do you want a *good* treat, not your Butthole?
Katie: (Hungover outside espresso royale) I wanna go home and make blueberry muffins-
Sarah Beth: (sad-ish) I thought we were gonna watch shark week?!
Courtney: (text) A crackhead on the corner of College and Clayon just sang Feliz Navidad to me! THIS is why I love Athens :)
Tina:Feet are weird. Especially feet that are all over the place. I mean, some people's feet look like they're throwin' gang signs.
Me: Ahh, someone hasn't checked her facebook yet today
Tina: Haha, yeah..I don't check it often anymore because I'm too busy eating.
Tina: Forget forehead, this girl's got twohead. Like, when it rains, she can't feel the water on her head.
Tina: Gyms are for fatties, not hotties.
Me; Ugh. I have to go the the urologist today.
Tina: Ooooh, sexy!
Michelle: You looked like one of those girls that did girls.
Erin: Yeah...that's called a lesbian.
Randall: You make me wish I was a lesbian.
Sandy: I just had a fight with a ladybug. I won! I flushed it down the toilet!
Jen: I think I'm going to hurt some feelings this weekend.
Maria: Just remember, sharks are like dogs- they only bite when you try to touch their private parts.
Me: GOD I have to pee SO bad.
Celina: Ugh. I hate peeing. Its such a waste of my time.
Krystal (sniffing a particular scent of lotion at B&B Works) This smells like..dirty baby hands
Me: What are we looking for?
Liz: My lil bag of money. I have like, $800 in it.
Cristiana: Just..I'll find it later. I'm Asian. It's my thing.
Erin: How old *is* he?
Candice: Enough.
Candice: You're never gonna have a Korean sister.
Tara: You're like my very own hot court jester.
Me: I don't like that my sweater's loose because....my lips taste like jelly beans right now.
Krystal: Ok, WHAT? Thats the reason?
Me: Oh, no, my ADD just kicked me in the ass. Two separate thoughts, sorry.
Me: *fanning myself* Jesus, is anyone else hotter than hell right now?
David: *nodds* GIRL, Im like, menopausal hot!
(standing in the kitchen, laughing our asses off)
Jess: Erin, they're gonna ask us what we're laughin at and we're not gonna know!"
Sharon & Dana: (walking in) What are ya'll laughing at?
Jess & Erin: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Courtney: Dude, I love my life. sittin here with my friends...watchin Grey's... while a girl in her underwear is cooking me french toast!
You're so lucky to be a lesbian. I'm so sick of guys right now. - Anonymous
Katie: *hugging her pup Lou* If Lou, if you were any cuter, I'd murder you.
Ash: Man, I hate those new Hot Pocket commercials...talkin 'bout how hot pockets are mobile now. *pauses* Uhhh, what? I've BEEN walkin around with MY hot pocket for years. I mean, who's gonna sit down and eat it at a table with a fork n a knife?
Me: *walks into the office to get Jen, who's talking to Sandy* Hey, can I get you to notarize that document?
Jen: *turns around* Oh sorry, we were just laughing about funerals.
Me: ....................
Tina: I just saw your ugly look-alike today.
Jess: Court! Erin's having a dance party..come out here!
Courtney: Cant..Im pulling pork.
Jess & Erin: ........
Me: so what are you guys doing today?
Mina (without pause): Idk, i was thinking about calling a politician..to get chicken coops in this district. I want chickens.
Courtney (to her dog, licking himself) Bentley, do you want a treat?..do you want a *good* treat, not your Butthole?
Katie: (Hungover outside espresso royale) I wanna go home and make blueberry muffins-
Sarah Beth: (sad-ish) I thought we were gonna watch shark week?!
Courtney: (text) A crackhead on the corner of College and Clayon just sang Feliz Navidad to me! THIS is why I love Athens :)
Tina:Feet are weird. Especially feet that are all over the place. I mean, some people's feet look like they're throwin' gang signs.
Me: Ahh, someone hasn't checked her facebook yet today
Tina: Haha, yeah..I don't check it often anymore because I'm too busy eating.
Tina: Forget forehead, this girl's got twohead. Like, when it rains, she can't feel the water on her head.
Tina: Gyms are for fatties, not hotties.
Me; Ugh. I have to go the the urologist today.
Tina: Ooooh, sexy!
Michelle: You looked like one of those girls that did girls.
Erin: Yeah...that's called a lesbian.
Randall: You make me wish I was a lesbian.
Sandy: I just had a fight with a ladybug. I won! I flushed it down the toilet!
Jen: I think I'm going to hurt some feelings this weekend.
Maria: Just remember, sharks are like dogs- they only bite when you try to touch their private parts.
Me: GOD I have to pee SO bad.
Celina: Ugh. I hate peeing. Its such a waste of my time.
Krystal (sniffing a particular scent of lotion at B&B Works) This smells like..dirty baby hands
Me: What are we looking for?
Liz: My lil bag of money. I have like, $800 in it.
Cristiana: Just..I'll find it later. I'm Asian. It's my thing.
Erin: How old *is* he?
Candice: Enough.
Candice: You're never gonna have a Korean sister.
Tara: You're like my very own hot court jester.
Me: I don't like that my sweater's loose because....my lips taste like jelly beans right now.
Krystal: Ok, WHAT? Thats the reason?
Me: Oh, no, my ADD just kicked me in the ass. Two separate thoughts, sorry.
Me: *fanning myself* Jesus, is anyone else hotter than hell right now?
David: *nodds* GIRL, Im like, menopausal hot!
(standing in the kitchen, laughing our asses off)
Jess: Erin, they're gonna ask us what we're laughin at and we're not gonna know!"
Sharon & Dana: (walking in) What are ya'll laughing at?
Jess & Erin: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Courtney: Dude, I love my life. sittin here with my friends...watchin Grey's... while a girl in her underwear is cooking me french toast!
You're so lucky to be a lesbian. I'm so sick of guys right now. - Anonymous
Katie: *hugging her pup Lou* If Lou, if you were any cuter, I'd murder you.
Ash: Man, I hate those new Hot Pocket commercials...talkin 'bout how hot pockets are mobile now. *pauses* Uhhh, what? I've BEEN walkin around with MY hot pocket for years. I mean, who's gonna sit down and eat it at a table with a fork n a knife?
Me: *walks into the office to get Jen, who's talking to Sandy* Hey, can I get you to notarize that document?
Jen: *turns around* Oh sorry, we were just laughing about funerals.
Me: ....................
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